20 more signs you're a corrections officer
By C1 Staff
We previously discussed 45 signs that you’re a corrections officer, but there are always more to be had. Here’s another 20 signs you might be a corrections officer. Don’t see yours on here? Be sure to add it in the comments.
- Positioning yourself at the front of a restaurant so you can see who comes in and out of the doors.
- Freaking out when your keys aren’t on your hip to open the restroom at home.
- Reaching for a pen in your pocket, even when you’re in civilian clothing.
- When you’re more comfortable being called by your first name.
- When your second (or first!) language is sarcasm.
- When life becomes a constant scenario training: you’re constantly reviewing events in your mind before, during and after any interaction.
- When you reply “write a grievance” when arguing with your spouse.
- When you ring your door bell at your house and wait for someone to pop it for you, before realizing you have your keys in your hand.
- Getting ready to run at the call for assistance for a customer in Home Depot.
- Waiting for doors to slide open, then realizing they’re manual.
- Telling your teenage son “shakedown” before searching his room for contraband.
- Being asked to spell something, and having to use the phonetic alphabet: alpha, bravo, charlie…
- Hearing noise in the shower that causes you to drop your hand to your nonexistent radio.
- When you finish off a plastic bottle at home and slice it open with a knife before tossing it.
- Your kids aren’t grounded, they’re placed on “LOP” or “Shine status.”
- Taking your kids anywhere, whether it be school, soccer practice, or something else, is a “transport.”
- If you wash your hands before going to the toilet.
- When someone asks you what you do for a living and you respond with “working in a daycare center” or “sanitation engineer.”
- When you get out of your car to go to the grocery store and shake yourself down for personal contraband so you don’t violate facility rules.
- When you say 10-4 to the speaker at a fast-food drive through.
- C1 Humor