Corrections Article

Holiday survival tips for corrections professionals and their families.

Christmas time is almost here! Most people will spend the next month preparing for the biggest holiday in the world without a second thought. As they are hanging their wreaths and lights, we are handing out food trays and responding to alarms; and for many of us, while many people across the country open their Christmas morning gifts, we will be in the middle of another work day.

It is easy to see how the holidays can be very tough on those of us who not only have to work those days, but also face an increase in violence around the holidays. It is one thing to have to work on the holidays, it is another to see an increase in the workload — exponentially so — while doing so.

The holidays are rough in prison. Suicide rates triple among both inmates and staff alike. Tempers can easily flare, often from bitterness about having to work, or being incarcerated during these times. To make things worse, those of us working in State institutions are often barred from showed any signs of celebration, as management feels this may upset those who do not share the same holidays as you and the inmates, who are "without their families."

What is usually forgotten is that while you are at work, inmate families are often allowed to visit on Christmas day. So while the criminal, who has often committed horrendous crimes to earn their incarceration is sitting at a table with his family, our own families are without their officer.

The above are all problems we are keenly aware of as Law Enforcement. These feelings are universal in our profession, both in our nations prisons, and for our street counterparts. As professionals, we are expected to rise above these feelings, and continue our duties without bias throughout the season; not an easy task.

So how do we cope?

For many of us, the holidays are moved up or back a few days to accommodate our schedules. This is a great way to celebrate the holidays, but often affects our kids. For a child, no matter what celebrations there may be on our schedule; the actual holiday can be a drag when all their friends are celebrating. This wears on family too. For those of us lucky enough to be near extended family, it can hardly be expected that everyone’s holidays plans are moved around your work schedule.

With all the added stress at work, the last thing you need in your life is to hear complaints from your family right? You’re not going to like my answer.

So you missed your kids football games because of work; you have probably missed some recitals, school conferences and many awards and birthdays that always seem to come up at the worst possible times in your schedule. But these holidays, this time of year, come at the same time every year. There is no surprise. You don’t wake up one day and say to yourself, "Crap, it's Christmas!"

If you haven’t done so yet, especially if this is your first holiday away from your family, sit down and talk to your spouse! You knew this day was coming, and I hate to tell you this, it is up to you to help plan around work.

Most of us work between eight to twelve hours per day. Even for those of us that are forced into overtime at work, that only adds up to 16 hours. That leaves a minimum of eight hours somewhere in the day sleep and spend time with your family. As I write this I can hear some people screaming, "Are you out of your mind!? I need my sleep!"

Like my old partner used to say, "Put the gun down and relax." Rewind your life a minute to your days in college, or any time before kids. Remember the parties that lasted all night? Remember getting up at 4 a.m. to go fishing last year? It can be done folks. This is something you are doing for your family. Whether that means that you celebrate the holidays with your family at 5:00 in the morning or at 11:00 at night, it can be done; and it can be fun.

There will be no more exciting holiday than the unconventional one. Kicking the kids out of bed a few hours early to open their gifts, or allowing them to stay up late will be something they will always remember. This memory will be much more treasured than the carefully planned out Christmas that was a day early or a day late around your schedule. Yes, you will still have to work; yes, you will spend most of your holiday at work.

You will do so with either the memory or the anticipation of having spent a wonderful time at home with your family, even if it was just for a few hours.

Don't miss out on the carefully planned dinners, of course, but remember that the holidays are, for many of us, a time for family togetherness, not perfection.

Another thing you want to avoid is compensation for your absence, say ... $1000 gift cards from Neiman Marcus for your five-year-old. Ask your family what you bought for them two holidays ago. Chances are they cannot remember. Now ask them what they do remember about the same holiday, and chances are the memory will be of the family, not the gifts. There is no reason to bankrupt yourself to make up for your absence. It will not work, and you will pay for it the rest of the year.

A special note to the spouses of officers. If this is your first holiday as a Law Enforcement family, remember that you are not alone. Thousands of families all through the United States have their loved ones at work during the holidays. You have a job also, to keep your often-grumpy officer in the spirit. Words of encouragement can be very helpful to him during this time.

Let him know that you appreciate all the hard work he is doing for the family, and that the wonderful holidays you enjoy together are a result of this. Stay away from having the officer explain to you a thousand times why he cannot get time off during this time. This is often impossible unless the officer has some time in the department.

Although this can be a very stressful time for you also, the officer is feeling tremendous pressure to make things perfect. He wants everything to go off without a hitch as a way of "making-up" for not being there all day on the holidays. This can often be seen in the form of extravagant Christmas light displays that took a full day off to set up, and many other excesses of public holiday spirit displays. He is doing his best to keep the holidays normal for you and the kids, he just doesn’t always know how.

Make sure he knows that you are there for him, no matter if he has to work, or worse yet, is ordered over on Christmas Eve or Day. He has just spent his day listening to the bad guys complain, and maybe even dealt with suicidal or otherwise violent offenders, and has just found out he has to work extra, this is the time to be as supportive as you can; even if it takes everything in you to not break down.

I hope that most of you will already have the time off. For those of you that do not, consider my advice. You may loose some sleep, you may be exhausted when you come to work, but you will do so with the knowledge that this holiday, no matter what time of the day it was celebrated, was the best gift you could give, and this is the true spirit of the holidays